Orange Juice

I'm back!

It has a been a while yes, I know, but I was just struck by idea lightning in the midst of a conversation with a friend about yet another friend. This seems to be a situation I often find myself in. I'd like to be clear in saying, that that does not always translate to talking shit, more often than not, it translates into just talking about your life and those involved in it, but the occasional shit talking does come into play.

However, for today's post that's not it. I have a friend, who I used to be ridiculously close with and stuff happens, as it so often does and we drifted and fought and drifted and fought and so on, until we were no more apart of each other's life than a picture on Myspace. But recently, we've come back into each other's life and have been talking and everything we had problems about seems to have come full circle, in that all the conflict has been mended. And so now everyone we all used to hang out with, wants to start hanging out again and up until this point I've been pretty okay with the whole situation, but now I'm not sure and it's got me thinking, what does it take to not just be a friend, but stay a friend?

I'm not sure how I feel about this whole lets be friends again situations because first of all, its like I'm watching my life on repeat over and over. I can't help but to not trust her, or her offer for a renewed friendship. I mean this person especially has quite an extreme tact for lying, when we were close, I watched and even helped her lie to everyone and anyone she came face to face with and although it didn't exactly bother me then, having her out of my life and out of my system for a while really opened up my eyes to the dysfunction that we had.

She's been through a lot in her short life, but I don't think that what you've been through is an excuse for ridiculous behavior. I believe that in every aspect of every day life, you have a choice and it is up to you and only you to decide what do with that choice. That's all life is, one big decision. 

And it's not so much just an issue with this friend, this whole situation has just got me thinking, how do you know when you're still friends because you love each other or because its habitual.

I'm lucky enough to have the same like core group of about 6 people, that I've known and been friends with for the greater part of my life and with that comes a great sense of security. But I've battled with them too and I think because we've all been friends for so long now, that we've done every hurtful thing we could think when we were younger. I can honestly say, that even with the few slightly superficial current issues I have right now, with some of my life long friends, I've never felt more stable or happy in the relationships that we all have. 

I'm not in high school anymore and I'm not looking for anymore high school drama and its such a relief to finally be at a place with my friends where we can talk about anything and we wont set each other off because we finally have some sense of who we are and what we want to become. So with that happiness comes the question, as we grow up and our lives mature, is there any room for new friends or are we just welcoming new drama?

Current Playlist:

Spit and Fire- Rainer Maria

Sunday- Sia

Same Blood- The Academy Is

Fever- Peggy Lee

This Conversation- The Submarines

Somewhere Beyond The Sea- Frank Sinatra

Buried A Lie- Senses Fail

Love Me Like You- The Magic Numbers

Glow- Katy Rose